{"id":883,"date":"2022-09-21T10:51:22","date_gmt":"2022-09-21T10:51:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hopetrustindia.com\/dev\/?p=883"},"modified":"2022-09-21T10:51:22","modified_gmt":"2022-09-21T10:51:22","slug":"am-i-different","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hopetrustindia.com\/dev\/blog\/am-i-different\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I different?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here is a dilemma, a question often asked and pondered upon:<\/strong><\/p>\n

If AA is such a wonderful way of recovering from alcoholism why is it that so few actually recover and live sober lives? <\/p>\n

I myself have often wondered about this. So many times, I have seen people come into AA, stay for a few days, weeks, or months and then fall by the wayside.<\/p>\n

It can\u2019t be that the AA way of recovery is unworkable, because it works for so many people. It doesn\u2019t matter whether they are atheists, agnostics or deeply religious; all these exist within the rooms of AA.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that those who do not stay are not intelligent enough, or have not suffered enough, or are too young, too old or any of a myriad of other reasons.<\/p>\n

Bill W. says in Chapter Five of the book Alcoholics Anonymous that some people are \u201cconstitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves, yet many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest\u201d. <\/em><\/p>\n

I think he is on the right track here. But what is the \u201cdishonesty\u201d he is implying here?<\/p>\n

Is it the dishonesty when a person says he is not an alcoholic,<\/strong> yet all evidence points to the fact that he is? I don\u2019t think so. I have met many people in AA who know they are alcoholics and openly admit it but yet can\u2019t stay sober.<\/p>\n

I believe the dishonesty is more fundamental than that. It is the basic dishonesty that says \u201cI am different.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

This is a form of dishonesty that is used by us humans for so many other things – not just alcoholism and addiction. Any time we want to exclude ourselves from some responsibility, we use this to justify to ourselves why we should avoid it.<\/p>\n

One of the ironies of dishonesty is this: It is impossible to be dishonest without a justification or rationalization for it.<\/em> <\/strong>So when asked to join something or do something, it is this dishonesty that comes to bail us out: “I really can\u2019t do this because I am different.”<\/p>\n

On the heels of that thought come the secondary rationalizations to bolster it: “I\u2019m too old \/ too young \/ no time \/ no money”, etc.<\/p>\n

The secondary rationalizations will be based on the person\u2019s circumstances and can be pulled out of thin air very quickly. But the underlying foundational rationalization is \u201cI am different.\u201d<\/p>\n

As long as a person believes this myth, he or she is doomed to continue in the destructive behaviours<\/strong> they have grown accustomed to.<\/p>\n

Facing down this rationalization is easier said than done, as I believe this belief is in us all. We may overcome it regarding alcoholism or other addictions, but see it emerge elsewhere in our lives. We use this rationalization to justify anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m different so I can act this way but you can\u2019t.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m different so I can\u2019t act this way but you can.\u201d<\/strong> <\/em><\/p>\n

We can use it either way, to justify doing something or to justify not doing something.<\/p>\n

This thinking is carried to extremes every day. Why am I living in a shelter? Because I am different. Why am I successful? Because I am different. Why am not able to get sober? Because I am different.<\/p>\n

Once a person gets over this dishonest idea remarkable things happen quickly.<\/p>\n

“I am the same \u2013 I do what you do and I get sober.” “I am the same \u2013 I do what you do and I get a job.”<\/strong> <\/em><\/p>\n

All other evidence about us humans points to the fact we are more alike than different. Two legs, two hands, two eyes, we speak, we love, we eat, we procreate, etc. \u2026 all in the same way. So why would I think I\u2019m different? Because I am being fundamentally dishonest with myself in order to justify my harmful actions.<\/p>\n

For as long as I think \u201cI am different\u201d, I keep myself outside the reach of aid. It is indeed a form of insanity.<\/p>\n

So how does a person overcome this insanity? Is it possible?<\/p>\n

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.<\/p>\n

This is the Second Step of AA\u2019s Twelve Steps<\/strong>. Isn’t it interesting that it is the next thing addressed after our powerlessness and unmanageability is covered in the First Step?<\/p>\n

Here is where we must be open to God\u2019s help. Insanity, dishonesty, unsound thinking, can be changed by God\u2019s grace.<\/p>\n

This is a reality. It happens all the time in AA. This most destructive dishonesty is relieved by God, as people come to believe in a God of their own understanding.<\/p>\n

My own experience with over 30 years in AA is this: I am NOT different.<\/em> I am so like my fellow travelers it constantly amazes me.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Written by a recovering alcoholic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here is a dilemma, a question often asked and pondered upon: If AA is such a wonderful way of recovering from alcoholism why is it that so few actually recover and live sober lives? I myself have often wondered about this. So many times, I have seen people come into AA, stay for a few […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAm I different? - Hope Trust<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/hopetrustindia.com\/blog\/am-i-different\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Am I different? - Hope Trust\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Here is a dilemma, a question often asked and pondered upon: If AA is such a wonderful way of recovering from alcoholism why is it that so few actually recover and live sober lives? 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