I went to rehab to get clean and sober. I had been drinking and drugging for over 10 years. My marriage was on the rocks. My son and daughter were avoiding me. I had lost my job – again. After years of trying to convince others that I didn’t have an addiction problem, the reality was beginning to dawn on me. My denial was cracking. Maybe, I thought, I do have a problem with addiciton.
Of course, I believed that I was so smart that I would be able to crack the problem with a short stint at the rehab, just a short one. I thought that I would quickly pick some tips on how to control my alcohol and drug use and then all would be well – almost magically! Maybe just a little misunderstood!
I checked into (https://hopetrustindia.com/), miles away from my home. My wife accompanied me for admission. I remember, I felt as I was doing a great sacrifice for the sake of my family, like a martyr.
The integrated program (medicine, psychiatry, inputs, group and individual counselling, Yoga and Mindfulness) delivered by a multi-disciplinary team was beginning to feel like a wholesome experience. I had a wonderful primary counsellor. I was woken early, ate my meals on time with the group, and slept soundly and naturally. And I made many friends – my peers, many of whom I am still in touch with.
I signed up for the 90 days program and though I was initially confident I would be able to convince the therapy team that I was ‘recovered’ in a month’s time, I stayed on for three months. I came to get away from alcohol and drugs, but I learnt so much about myself and life.
These lessons, in turn, have helped me to stay sober – now four years running. Here are 10 of the most important lessons I learnt at Hope Trust:
- Learnt to respond quickly. Not to be confused with reacting impulsively. Earlier I used to stall and postpone things. Now I act, not react, on time. First things first. I have a daily schedule and stick to it, resisting occasional bouts of inertia.
- Have clear goals. Long term and short term – weekly and annual. This helps me in formulating strategies to achieve realistic goals. And when I achieve them, it helps in boosting my self-worth.
- Let go. I try on a daily basis to get rid of the garbage I tend to collect along the way – such as anger, resentment, regret, envy and fears.
- Get comfortable with your past. My counsellor made me write my ‘autobiography’ and it was a revelation. Plenty of incidents which caused me to feel shame and guilt were unearthed and shared. Now I am comfortable with the chaos I caused in my and others’ lives. And moved on.
- Don’t be overconfident. There’s a difference between being confident and being overconfident. Now I know that everything is not in my control, there are somethings are not going to work out as I planned – and I am okay with that. I do what I need to do, and leave the result to my Higher Power.
- Own up your mistakes. No blaming or justifying. I did what I did. I was what I was. I am what I am.
- Learn to listen. And listen to learn. If I keep talking and I won’t learn anything new.
- Believe in yourself. But accept a Higher Power. Now I know I’m not in charge. Someone else is – maybe God?
- Look within. While using I was always yearning, running after things, wanting more. Because I believed gathering money, fame and things was going to bring me happiness. Now I know that happiness lies within me.
- Accept reality. I was an artist when it came to painting a fantastic reality. I was living a lie. Rehab jolted me into reality. Now I have friends and family who are not afraid to tell me the truth. Because I am ready to accept and face it.
These ten things help me keep grounded. And sober. Thanks to the (https://hopetrustindia.com/about-us/) and (https://hopetrustindia.com/about-us/know-your-therapists/), who worked so hard at chipping away at all the extra weight I had gathered around the real me.
I checked into rehab to get sober. But got a lot more than that.