My Loved One Will Not Get Addiction Treatment. Now what?

As you watch someone you care about struggle with addiction, it’s natural to believe you know what’s best. You may even feel strongly about getting your loved one into treatment because you understand the dangers of continuing on their current path and realise they can take steps to stop their addiction and begin their recovery.

How to help if your loved one refuses treatment

Someone you care about is dealing with addiction, also known as substance use disorder. Loving someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol can make you feel isolated and put you under a lot of pressure to get them into treatment right away.

You’re not alone if you feel anxious, scared, lonely, angry, frustrated, or hopeless. Many people experience these emotions in similar circumstances.

The recovery process is complex for families, friends, and significant others worldwide. While it may feel like inpatient or outpatient treatment is the only option for immediate help (or help at all), your loved one’s decision not to enter treatment does not mean all hope is lost. Furthermore, this does not imply failure. It’s a challenging journey, and you’re not alone in it.

So, where are you going from here? How can you assist someone struggling with addiction who refuses help? We’re answering some of the most common questions asked by people in similar situations, looking for the same answers—how do I help someone I care about if they refuse treatment?

How do you help someone with a substance abuse disorder who refuses help?

When someone is struggling with alcohol or drug addiction, they may be ready to acknowledge their problem but not prepared to seek help. Others are unwilling to seek treatment because they have yet to confront their addiction.

Your expectations, motivations for seeking help, and plan may differ from those of your loved one.

Rather than approaching the conversation with ultimatums, try meeting your loved one where they are and being willing to be curious. To better understand their point of view and deepen your connection, ask the following questions:

• What obstacles prevent them from seeking help?
• What kind of assistance are they looking for?
• What does recovery look like for them?
• What motivates them to seek help?
• What would they be willing to do if they accepted help now?

Listen to their responses to find out where their concerns about treatment stem from. Recognise their thoughts and feelings to help them lower their guard. Engaging them in a safe conversation increases the likelihood that they will consider what you’re asking them to do or make small changes with a few first steps.

Here’s one example of how the conversation might go if someone refuses treatment:

Substance user: “I do not want to go to rehab. You cannot force me to do something I do not want to do. “It is my decision!”

Support person: “That’s correct. I understand that going to treatment is not what you want to do right now. Would you be willing to speak with Dr. Sharat about your addiction? What if we went to our local AA or NA support groups together? “Or I can drop you off.”

Presenting an end-all-be-all care plan frequently results in more adamant refusal. Instead, it’s critical to promote small, positive changes. Even the most minor step in a healthy, positive direction can lead to better outcomes.

My loved one does not believe they have a substance use disorder

People who are struggling with addiction frequently believe they do not need help. Clinically, we refer to this as the pre-contemplation stage. The substance user is unaware that there is a problem, so why would they change their behaviour?

When your loved one is at this stage, it is critical to provide positive support. This is not a natural reaction for many family members or significant others. Guilt, bribery, threats, and pleading are common instinctual responses used to help those struggling with addiction see the light, recognise their problem, and be forced to seek help. Persistence in this approach can lead to a loved one becoming more resistant to seeking help.

Hope Trust offers on-site or online sessions to promote mindful and intentional positive change. This evidence-based approach relies on positive communication to assist family members and friends who have loved ones struggling with addiction.

Precise timing is essential. Seek out when your loved one is not in a crisis and less likely to feel overwhelmed. Focus on your emotional state by asking yourself the following questions:

• Are you ready to have this conversation?
• Can you currently have a positive discussion about this challenging topic?
• Are you prepared to remain calm regardless of how your loved one reacts?
• Calmness is contagious. If you’re mentally prepared for the discussion, your chances of having a clear, productive conversation increase.
• How should I handle it if my loved one refuses to go to rehab?

If your loved one refuses treatment, family members, friends, and other support systems must maintain open communication.

For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” say, “I want us to be able to communicate openly. “Use “I feel” statements to be accountable for your emotions. For example, “I am scared, sad, lonely”, and so on. Demonstrate understanding of your loved one’s perspective, thoughts, and emotions. Try it out by asking yourself whether your loved one would agree with your statement if they won’t, revise it to create a safe environment. Share responsibility or offer a solution by acknowledging your role and expressing your willingness to assist comfortably.

This reduces their defences and encourages them to consider their role as well. For example, “I understand my nagging has not improved your situation. I’m open to hearing your point of view without judgment”.

When a loved one says they aren’t ready or willing to seek help, you may experience a wide range of emotions, from disappointment to frustration, sadness, and anger. However, maintaining calm, meaningful conversations will strengthen your relationship and create the safe space your loved one requires to make wise choices and positive changes.

Your reasons for wanting your loved one to seek treatment are most likely different from those that would encourage them to accept help. Attempt to separate the two by directing the conversation. For example:

Substance User: “I am so tired of having hangover anxiety. “I can’t remember what I did or said the night before, which is embarrassing.”

Support Person: “I understand, and that makes complete sense. You’d be relieved not to think about what you did or said the night before”.

As you learn more about their treatment motivators, keep offering smaller steps and be open to where they want to start. While inpatient and outpatient treatment options have proven to be effective, they are not the only treatment options available to those struggling with addiction. Any positive action warrants encouragement and support.

If they continue to refuse, how can I convince them to stop drinking or using without treatment?

Let their “no” be the start of the conversation, not the end.

Those struggling with addiction frequently refuse treatment. It’s okay if they’re not ready now. The truth is that you cannot control anyone else. You cannot force someone to accept help.

Empower yourself

Take a breath. Take a step back from the situation and allow yourself time for self-care. Self-care is essential for anyone who assists. The trauma you experience frequently necessitates professional care and attention, such as

• One-on-one therapy
• Family therapy
• Support or group therapy, including Al-Anon and educational groups
• Focusing on your well-being, including making time for a hobby.

No matter how frequently your loved one refuses treatment, your previous attempts were a good use of time and energy. You may not realise it right now, but you are one of the most influential people in your loved one’s life. Positive interactions build momentum, even if they decline assistance. Remember, you can approach your loved one again when appropriate.

As a support person, you only have control over how you respond. It is your responsibility to remember your response capability. Thus, the only thing you can truly control in this challenging process is how you react to the people in your life.

Engage in the change process. Engage in meaningful, caring conversations. As a supporter, that is enough. You are enough.

Hope Trust has over 22 years of experience in addiction treatment. Click www.hopetrustindia.com for an online appointment with an expert.