10 Things I Learnt in Rehab
I went to rehab to get clean and sober. I had been drinking and drugging for over 10 years. My marriage was on the rocks. My son and daughter were avoiding me. I had lost my job – again. After years of trying to convince others that I didn’t have an addiction problem, the reality was beginning to dawn on me. My denial was cracking. Maybe, I thought, I do have a problem with addiciton.
Of course, I believed that I was so smart that I would be able to crack the problem with a short stint at the rehab, just a short one. I thought that I would quickly pick some tips on how to control my alcohol and drug use and then all would be well – almost magically! Maybe just a little misunderstood!
I checked into Hope Trust rehab in Hyderabad, miles away from my home. My wife accompanied me for admission. I remember, I felt as I was doing a great sacrifice for the sake of my family, like a martyr.
The integrated program (medicine, psychiatry, inputs, group and individual counselling, Yoga and Mindfulness) delivered by a multi-disciplinary team was beginning to feel like a wholesome experience. I had a wonderful primary counsellor. I was woken early, ate my meals on time with the group, and slept soundly and naturally. And I made many friends – my peers, many of whom I am still in touch with.
I signed up for the 90 days program and though I was initially confident I would be able to convince the therapy team that I was ‘recovered’ in a month’s time, I stayed on for three months. I came to get away from alcohol and drugs, but I learnt so much about myself and life.
These lessons, in turn, have helped me to stay sober – now four years running. Here are 10 of the most important lessons I learnt at Hope Trust:
- Learnt to respond quickly. Not to be confused with reacting impulsively. Earlier I used to stall and postpone things. Now I act, not react, on time. First things first. I have a daily schedule and stick to it, resisting occasional bouts of inertia.
- Have clear goals. Long term and short term – weekly and annual. This helps me in formulating strategies to achieve realistic goals. And when I achieve them, it helps in boosting my self-worth.
- Let go. I try on a daily basis to get rid of the garbage I tend to collect along the way – such as anger, resentment, regret, envy and fears.
- Get comfortable with your past. My counsellor made me write my ‘autobiography’ and it was a revelation. Plenty of incidents which caused me to feel shame and guilt were unearthed and shared. Now I am comfortable with the chaos I caused in my and others’ lives. And moved on.
- Don’t be overconfident. There’s a difference between being confident and being overconfident. Now I know that everything is not in my control, there are somethings are not going to work out as I planned – and I am okay with that. I do what I need to do, and leave the result to my Higher Power.
- Own up your mistakes. No blaming or justifying. I did what I did. I was what I was. I am what I am.
- Learn to listen. And listen to learn. If I keep talking and I won’t learn anything new.
- Believe in yourself. But accept a Higher Power. Now I know I’m not in charge. Someone else is – maybe God?
- Look within. While using I was always yearning, running after things, wanting more. Because I believed gathering money, fame and things was going to bring me happiness. Now I know that happiness lies within me.
- Accept reality. I was an artist when it came to painting a fantastic reality. I was living a lie. Rehab jolted me into reality. Now I have friends and family who are not afraid to tell me the truth. Because I am ready to accept and face it.
These ten things help me keep grounded. And sober. Thanks to the rehab and my counsellors, who worked so hard at chipping away at all the extra weight I had gathered around the real me.
I checked into rehab to get sober. But got a lot more than that.