5 Ways You Can Help Your Loved One
Do’s and Don’ts on how to help someone struggling with mental health issues, as suggested by experts.
- Looking out for the signs: The first step while providing support to someone struggling with their emotional or mental health issues, is to spot the signs of distress. Rajeshwari, one of the psychotherapists at Hope Trust, says, “Family and friends become intimately familiar with their loved one and are the first to spot out-of-character behaviours. We can initiate a conversation with questions like ‘how are you doing?’ or ‘how are you feeling today?’. This way, you are creating an opening for the person to share any internal conflicts they might be facing”.
- Creating a safe space: Family can try and create a stable, helpful space for their loved ones to find an anchor in stormy times. Caregivers can help by creating a stable, reliable space for their loved ones to find an easy port in the storm. This especially applies to adolescents. Young persons are in the process of finding their identity, and this often leads to significant inner turmoil. If they have a stable and safe external environment, they will feel safely connected and rooted. Parents can be confidantes with whom they feel free to share anything.
- Listening actively: When a loved one is in distress, the impulse is to problem-solve. Not every problem can be solved. The key is active listening – trying to hear and acknowledge their feelings. “When a person is sharing their concerns, listen to their emotions, not the words “, says Rajeshwari. That way, the troubled person feels there’s someone who understands, and this is a significant relief. It also helps in giving clarity to the individual.
Taking them seriously: Don’t be dismissive: When someone is going through a low phase, don’t brush aside the problem with phrases like ‘This is just a phase’, ‘It will pass’ or ‘We all go through it’. Instead, share similar experiences if you’ve gone through them—it will help to remind them that they are not alone. Don’t give solutions or compare with others. Remember, depression or other such feelings are very real for the person experiencing it, and may not appear to be so for you. Even if you see things differently, don’t dismiss their feelings. Offering solutions is often counter-productive and makes the person feel misunderstood and inadequate. This principle is used by AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) members when they try and help a still-suffering alcoholic – they share how they were, what they did and how they are now. They share their experience, never advise.- Avoiding judgement: Don’t be judgemental – avoid words like ‘crazy’ or ‘nonsense’ or ‘divert your mind’ or ‘just get over it’. Your non-judgmental attitude should show in your comments and body language. Appear empathetic, alert and serious. After all, it is a severe issue for the person who is undergoing the issue. Their behaviours are not meant to irritate you. These are mental health issues that require empathy and perhaps professional support.
Therapy helps persons with mental health problems learn better coping mechanisms and self-care. It is not a sign of weakness, inadequacy or abnormality.
Mental health impacts a significant part of any population. Mental disorders are among the leading causes of non-fatal disease burden in India. Without anticipating a coronavirus pandemic, the WHO earlier predicted that by 2020, roughly 20 per cent of the population would suffer from mental illnesses. That means, today, more than 200 million Indians may have mental illnesses, and the situation is likely to worsen. The psychological impact of lockdowns, quarantine, economic downfall is expected to add to these numbers.
According to a study by NIMHANS (National Mental Health Survey 2015-16), one in ten Indians have a mental health condition, and one in twenty Indians have depression.
According to a study by NIMHANS (National Mental Health Survey 2015-16), one in ten Indians have a mental health condition, and one in twenty Indians have depression.
“Therapy can teach you about yourself, how to live a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life, says Dr Vidyasagar of the Hope Trust. “Therapy can be a tough journey that requires the person to take a long, hard look at oneself and make significant changes in thinking, behaviour and perceptions. It is difficult work and requires a lot of courage. But ultimately, it’s worth it”.
Families and friends of people experiencing this process should provide unstinting support and positive reinforcement that encourages them to trust and stick to the process, even when the going gets tough.
Hope Trust has a qualified and experienced team of psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors who offer professional support through evidence-based therapy methods.
Call +91 9000850001 or Email info@hopetrustindia and get an online consultation with a mental health professional.