A high IQ Doesn’t Equal Success. Focus on your EQ

Our society places a premium on intelligence. While in school, we have it drummed into our heads that book learning and a high IQ are the necessary tools for success.

Honours and attention are bestowed on academic achievers, while most people are relegated to the ever-inflating ‘average’ tag. When we finally get out into the real world, it doesn’t take long to notice that being an academic high flyer doesn’t necessarily guarantee a successful or happy life.

That’s where ‘emotional intelligence’ comes in!

Grades don’t guarantee success

So okay, grades and diplomas don’t guarantee success, and we all know other people who weren’t the best students in school but who have found great success in their chosen careers and have a wide circle of valued friends and acquaintances.

We’ve all met highly intelligent people who have limited social skills. Why is this? Is something else at play?

How to be the pilot of your life

Self-awareness means that you know yourself and understand your emotions. This includes being able to assess your strengths and weaknesses. It also includes having a healthy amount of self-confidence.

Self-management means you control your emotions, act rationally, and react positively to change. This also includes being trustworthy, conscientious, committed, and optimistic.

Social awareness means you have an understanding of the emotions of others and know how to react effectively to these emotions. This includes having empathy and compassion for others, recognising their unique talents and qualities, and having excellent communication skills. It also includes being comfortable in many types of social situations.

Relationship management is the ability to maintain all types of relationships, avoid unnecessary conflict, and work through conflict successfully when it does arise. This includes building a sphere of influence and taking leadership when needed.

When we lack these competencies, we can feel unsure of ourselves and out of control. If you let emotions you don’t understand dictate your actions, you may end up feeling like a boat set adrift in stormy seas. Only by learning to understand and control your emotions can you become the pilot of your life and steer your way to calmer waters.

Why EQ is good for you

Letting your emotions control you can have other negative impacts on your life. Being open to others is hard when you’re emotionally stressed, so relationships suffer. Being on an emotional roller coaster for an extended period of time can lead to physical problems like hypertension and cardiovascular disease. Out-of-control emotions can also cause depression and severe anxiety. Therefore, a high EQ level is an essential component of good health.

How can you raise your EQ?

Their genetic makeup and childhood experiences determine a person’s EQ level. We can change how we react to our emotions, but like all transformational changes, it requires more than just the desire to change.

We may understand on an intellectual level what needs to be done, but gaining mastery over emotions requires practice and interaction with others.

Psychologist Jeanne Segal, author of The Language of Emotional Intelligence, describes some essential skills to help increase emotional intelligence:

Watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8rpb8QkQtc

Control stress as it occurs. Runaway stress can be overwhelming. It’s difficult to be emotionally in control when stress takes over. You can stay balanced and focused by learning to control stress as it occurs.

The first step in managing stress is recognising your emotional response to it. Some people become anxious, and others withdraw or lose focus. Once you identify your stress response, discover how to neutralise it quickly. Learn how to soothe yourself healthily.

Connect with your emotions. Become aware of your emotional state from moment to moment. Gain an understanding of what triggers different emotions. Do you experience intense emotions accompanied by physical sensations such as headaches or a tightening in the chest? Perhaps you have a lack of emotion, or your feelings are suppressed. Learn to connect to your core emotions and understand them.

Face the day with humour. Maintaining a sense of humour can relieve day-to-day annoyances and make hard times more bearable. Keeping things light is an excellent way to avoid conflict and work things out when a dispute arises. A good sense of humour can also help relieve stress and bring you closer to other people.

What is ‘people skills?

When we say someone has good people skills, we comment on their EQ level. The term “people skills” encompasses a wide range of abilities, including being in tune with the emotions of others, having the ability to make others feel comfortable, and using effective communication to influence and persuade. It means having the ability to be a good friend as well as a leader and negotiator.

Magnetic is an apt term for this type of person since they naturally draw others into their sphere of influence, trust, and friendship. If you’d like to improve your people skills and tap into this magnetic power, take some time to develop your emotional intelligence.

Seek support to improve your life

Do you feel you need to do more to acquire social skills or learn to manage and express your emotions more appropriately? Are you feeling you are having relationship issues?

Talk to a therapist.

Click www.hopetrustindia.com to book an online or in-clinic appointment with an expert.