Addiction – Family’s Road to Recovery
Alcoholismis now recognised and classified as a ‘disease’ by leading medical authorities such as the World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Psychiatric Association (APA).
Like any disease, alcoholism is characterised by definite symptoms.
One of the symptoms is that it does not affect the alcoholic alone – it is a family disease, and those close to the alcoholic are as profoundly affected by it if not more.
How the family suffers
The family of an alcoholic or addict is a set of hurt and confused people. Even though they don’t drink, alcohol still harms them.
Just as addiction affects all areas of the addict’s life (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social (relationships), family members also go through a roller coaster-like experience that affects all areas of their lives.
As the alcoholic becomes addicted to the bottle, the family becomes obsessed with the alcoholic. Their lives revolve around the alcoholic. As the dependent often loses control over the time, quantity, and place of drinking, the family experiences a loss of control over their responses. Thus, the family exhibits all symptoms of their addiction! Psychologists call this symptom codependency.
The addicts constantly ‘justify’ their drinking and blame others for their condition; the family justifies their irresponsible behaviour and holds the alcoholic responsible for every problem in the family. Family members often throw tantrums just as the alcoholic becomes physically or verbally aggressive.
The alcoholic often feels guilt; the family, too, feels occasional pangs of guilt. Both try repeated but unsuccessful attempts at change. Both avoid social contact. Alcoholics suffer from indefinable fears (paranoia), and the family experiences constant lurking fear due to internalised emotional stress.
Low self-esteem is typical of the alcoholic (compensated by grandiose behaviour), and their family members constantly feel inadequate. Both avoid social contact.
‘Denial’ is a typical characteristic of addiction. Various forms of denial exist in the family, blaming: “his wife doesn’t care”. This way, the parents try to absolve themselves, conveniently transferring the blame to the daughter-in-law. Rather than acknowledge the increasing disability from addiction, as the disease goes wildly out of control, family members often explain away with rationalisations: “He’s drinking due to pressure at the office”.
When an alcoholic continues drinking, the family ironically enables him to continue his addiction. In their attempts to help the alcoholic, the family members will unwittingly enable the drinking by:
- Taking over the alcoholic’s responsibilities
- Rescuing them from tight situations
- Making excuses on their behalf
- Providing money or shelter
This way, the alcoholic or addict is not allowed to face the consequences of their behaviour and thus does not feel the need for recovery.
Recovery for the whole family
Modern addiction treatment services like Hope Trustalso offer a recovery program for the family members while the alcoholic or addict is in treatment. This way, the entire family is empowered to begin the challenging but rewarding journey on the roadto recovery.
The goal of treatment is to make the family whole and healthy again. As a leading expert puts it: “Addiction is a family problem and recovery a family responsibility”.
Click www.hopetrustindia.com for an online or in-clinic appointment with an expert.