Freedom from Fear in Addiction Recovery

It may have been years since we have felt the fear that permeated our days as practising addicts or alcoholics. We may have experienced something of the new freedom and happiness promised by getting into recovery. Yet fear may remain a problem for us. At times fear may try to dominate us again, and we may react in the same old ways and wonder if we have made any progress. Responding to fear in constructive ways is an essential dimension of ongoing recovery from addiction.

Fear and Denial

When we find ourselves burdened by resentments, we may discover fear in various forms if we look behind them. It may be fear of losing something or someone. Young addicts fear losing having fun since using alcohol or drugs is the only way they know how to have ‘fun’. Fear of loss of prestige or self-image (the tough, heavy-drinking, confident guy) causes a lot of anxiety. Fear may result in deep anger at anything that seems to attack us.

Perfectionism is sometimes nothing more than a desire to be beyond criticism. The desire to control the lives of those around us may be a fear of acknowledging our powerlessness. As we attempt to develop a way of living that demands rigorous honesty, we may be forced repeatedly to recognise the reality of fear in our lives.

Fear causes the most trouble for us when we pretend we have none or think our lives can be free from fear. Fear is not a defect of character. If we were deprived of our capacity for fear, we would be robots, not heroes. Addiction recovery aims not to destroy our human ability for fear but rather to change how we respond to fear and eventually change its nature.

An example might clarify the importance of fear. Some people are born without the ability to feel physical pain. At first, this might seem like a blessing. As anyone who lives with them can report, the lack of capacity for pain is a curse. As children, they need to be watched more carefully than kids who feel pain. A child who fears pain will withdraw a hand from a burning oven. But a child incapable of feeling pain does not have the immediate instinct of withdrawal and can be seriously burned.

Growing into adulthood, people unable to feel pain have no way of knowing whether they are hurt or suffering from illness. Pain, which is a symptom of disease, doesn’t register for them. Theycan become seriously ill, not know it, and not seek adequate help. A person incapable of feeling pain may be as seriously deprivedof living a whole human life as someone who suffers from chronic pain. Likewise, a person with no fear in any situation might have as much difficulty living as one whose life is dominated by fear.

We have all heard the phrase, “I’m feeling now pain.” That was what we were seeking as a permanent condition through our behaviour involving addiction. We may at times have sought a way of escaping or confronting our fears by acting out our addictive behaviour. In ongoing recovery, we are learning to accept pain as part of our lives. The capacity and the experience of fear are essential factors in helping us grow in addiction recovery.

Fight, Flight, or Freeze

In the early 1900s, Dr William Cannon did some research on what has been called the “fight or flight” mechanism. He discovered that when confronted with a dangerous situation, most animals have an almost immediate reaction of either fighting back or fleeing from the danger. This fight or flight response also seems to be part of our human reaction to things, people, and situations we fear.

Dr Cannon also noted that when faced with a dangerous situation they cannot interpret, almost all animals freeze and don’t move at all. We all have probably come across a squirrel or rabbit while walking and noticed that when it becomes aware of our presence, it freezes for a moment. If we take a step toward it, the animal will dart off to the nearest tree or clump of bushes. It seems that in our won case as recovering people, fear can cause us to fight, flee, or even become paralysed.

This response is often witnessed at treatment facilities. When the reality of their situation confronts clients, they react either by getting angry with family and argumentative with the therapy team, dropping out of the program, or being superficially compliant.

The fight, flight, or freeze mechanism is intended as a short-term response to a hazardous situation. However, we can respond in these ways over a long period and do tremendous damage to ourselves and those around us. For example, someone may consistently refuse promotions that are wanted because of a fear of failure or fear of responsibility. Another person may remain paralysed in a destructive relationship because of the fear of being on one’s own. Another person may live a life characterised by arguments that are out of proportion to the cause. Extended over a considerable time period, these reactions to fear cause significant stress and deprive us of the fullness of recovery.

Overcoming fear in recovery

In addiction recovery, we gradually learn to overcome our fear of people or do things we had always wanted to do but didn’t have the courage. Gradually, we learn to meet a situation, not in terms of its fear, but in terms of potential. We learn to make decisions regarding our fear rather than simply reacting to it.

Of course, some fears are very healthy. For instance, the fear of elapsing is beneficial because we know returning to our former ways would be self-destructive. In this case, fear may be a motivator in keeping us abstinent.