Our Marriage Counsellors Share 5 Truths About Love

Tips on how to keep a relationship together

We have helped many couples work on their relationships as professionalrelationship counsellors. They are in it for the long haul and want to learn to connect, communicate, and recognise each other better.

We have learned many ways to help and care for our partners. Over the years, a few relationship tips have become our favourites.

Here are the five things we tell couples who want to build a healthy, strong, and loving relationship about love.

1. In a relationship, space is essential

Your relationship with yourself is the most important because how you treat yourself affects how you treat everyone else, including your partner.

When you get too close to your partner, it is hard to see them as a person outside of your relationship. If you have noticed that their quirks that you used to find cute are now getting on your nerves, it may be a sign that you need some space.

When you spend too much time together, you might take each other for granted and need to remember what makes your partner unique.

To get the spark back in your relationship, you must remember that your partner is not something you own but rather a choice you and your partner make daily. Even though it’s great to enjoy each other’s company, there’s something beautiful about taking a moderate approach to the relationship.

Make your partner your confidant, best friend, and ally, but remember to make time for your personal passions, friendships, and unique interests outside the relationship. Strangely, giving each other space will bring you closer together and make the things you do together feel more precious.

2. How to make a relationship based oninterdependence

Having space between you and your partner is essential for many reasons. It helps you control your emotions, keep your own identity, show that you trust each other, and keep your relationship from getting too crowded by your constant presence.

During your time apart, give yourself time to feel like the main character in your own life again. You are more than the roles you play in society, like being a partner, friend, family member, or coworker. Treat yourself as well as you want your loved ones to treat you.

Community, family, self-love, and platonic love are as beautiful as romantic love. These relationships can make you feel just as happy and full of love as the one you have with your partner. By giving yourself the space, you need, you’ll be better able to accept the many connections that improve your life.

As you get used to being alone and stop seeing your partner as your whole world, you remember all the beautiful things you have with yourself and the other people in your life. Having some time apart lets you see your partner for who they are, which makes you appreciate them even more.

3. How to move from the honeymoon phase to lasting love

Your relationship will be more interesting if you ask questions.

You might think you know everything there is to know about your partner, including the beliefs that drive their actions, the people they hang out with, and the reasons why they make the choices they do in life. Still, there will always be things that we don’t know. No matter how much you share, you will always grow and change, showing new sides of your personality and points of view.

All relationships have this mystery built in, and staying interested is vital to exploring these uncharted territories. You may know only some things about each other. Instead, be open to what you don’t know and use that feeling to keep yourself and your partner interested and available. Having a sense of excitement about the unknown keeps you from taking each other for granted.

Healthy couples always ask each other questions and learn more about each other because they are so interested in each other.

Curiosity adds an element of surprise to the relationship, which makes it feel new and exciting again. Curiosity keeps the relationship alive because it can lead to trying out new things, ways of looking at things, and hobbies.

Try to talk about new things every day, whether about the first book you loved as a child or the latest insights from a documentary you have seen on TV.

Curiosity keeps a sense of wonder alive in your relationship, it grows, thrives, and keeps the spark alive.

4. Don’t be afraid of fights; instead, learn from them

There are always going to be problems in any relationship. Even though you have similar goals and values, you must remember that you are both unique people with different backgrounds and points of view. It’s easy to feel misunderstood, critical, and angry with each other when things are going wrong.

When angry, you must know what your nervous system does to your body. The fight-flight-freeze-fawn response kicks in, which makes people do things like yell, withdraw, shut down, or try to make other people happy as a way to deal with stress.

A good relationship depends on your ability to talk things out and deal with problems quickly. It’s important to talk about your worries because if you don’t, they can make you feel fake and cause a rift in your relationship. The less you talk, the more emotional distance grows between you until you keep your feelings to yourself and act out in unhealthy ways.

After a big fight, you can’t just shrug it off and say sorry. You may want to be together with them for a long time. It takes skill to learn how to respond instead of react. That’s why trying to repair and show that you want to improve how you talk to people is crucial.

5. Find out what it means to be genuinely compatible

In our work, we often meet couples with a strong connection on the outside but who have trouble feeling close to each other. Lack of compatibility—a requirement for a relationship to last—is typically the root cause of this inner distance.

True compatibility is much more than having the same goals and values and getting along with your family. Compatibility is working together and supporting each other through good and bad times.

This compatibility exists when they are at their lowest and can’t give you anything. But their love is everything, so you take on all their problems, insecurities, growing pains, and the inevitable ups and downs of a relationship because you want them so much.

A vital goal is to decide to walk into love with your partner, not just fall in love with them. Finding this kind of connection is hard, but when you do, it can lead to the most honest relationships.

If you want to be compatible with your partner, you must choose to be their rock and know what that means. This level of unconditional love means showing kindness, strength, and love that can last through all the different stages and changes of the relationship. You choose to be there for each other in good times and bad, in sickness and health.

True compatibility is a sense of safety that can be used to build a life.

One Last Thing

It takes time to build a relationship that will last. Love is a great feeling, but keeping it around takes work every day. With the right tools and a willing partner, it gets easier over time.

By taking your relationship to a higher level and embracing all its parts, you’ll grow as people and love each other more.

If you are facing any relationship issues, it’s very helpful to consult a relationship counsellor.

Click www.hopetrustindia.com for an online appointment with a therapist.