The Hidden Struggle: How Undiagnosed Mental Health Issues Affect Your Relationships and Self-Esteem
Mental health is vital for well-being, but in India, stigma and lack of awareness leave millions without support. Undiagnosed Mental Health Issues like depression, anxiety, ADHD, and BPD lower self-worth and strain relationships, leading to ongoing emotional distress.
Underreporting, cultural barriers, and a lack of professionals worsen the issue in India. Many live for years with untreated symptoms, leading to broken marriages and strained families.
How Not Knowing You Have Mental Health Problems Affects Your Relationships and Self-Esteem
- Depression: The Silent Suffering
Depression is often labelled as ‘just sadness’ or ‘laziness,’ especially in India, where feelings are rarely discussed.
– Self-esteem: People feel ashamed when they think they are “weak” or “unproductive.”
– Relationships: People think that withdrawal and irritability are signs of neglect, which causes fights between spouses and tension in the family.
Chronic fatigue, caused by depression, can significantly limit productivity and lead to increased feelings of guilt and self-loathing.
- Anxiety: The Overlooked Epidemic
Anxiety disorders are often described as ‘overthinking’ or ‘stress.’
– Self-doubt: People are afraid of being judged, which keeps them from speaking up and makes them feel more alone.
In Indian homes, academic and professional demands cause stress, but parents call it ‘normal pressure.’
Social anxiety leads to missed opportunities and worsening self-worth.
3. ADHD: A Misunderstood Condition in India
Few adults, especially women, are diagnosed. Children and young adults are viewed as “naughty” instead of addressing a real mental health condition.
Forgetfulness and impulsivity are often viewed as character flaws rather than symptoms.
– Marital strain: Partners may feel neglected or overlooked.
– Problems at work: Missing deadlines can make you feel responsible for job instability.
- Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): The Emotional Storm
BPD is often misunderstood as ‘drama’ or ‘attention-seeking.’
– Fear of being left alone: When people react strongly to minor problems, it hurts their relationships.
– Self-sabotage: Impulsive choices, like abusing drugs or overspending, make family problems worse.
Why Mental Health Isn’t Diagnosed in India
In India, mental illness is seen as shameful for the family, and spiritual misinterpretations like “weak karma” or “black magic” often distort the issue. Gender bias also contributes; men are told to “man up,” and women are labelled “overemotional.”
People often blame symptoms on spiritual misinterpretations, which hampers proper understanding.
Many do not recognise mental illness, confusing certain conditions with typical experiences or temporary emotions.
– Some parents may think of ADHD as “just a hyperactive child.”
– People mix up depression with short-term sadness.
– Many see emotional pain as a routine part of life.
The Lack of Professional Support in India
There are only about 0.75 psychiatrists for every 100,000 people in India, compared to a global average of 3 psychiatrists per 100,000.
People in rural areas have very little access to mental health care.
How Indian Family Dynamics Are Changed
Marriage Breakdowns
Not knowing you have depression, anxiety, or BPD can cause fights, emotional withdrawal, and divorces.
Societal pressure keeps many in unhappy marriages, worsening their mental health.
Problems Between Parents and Children
Parents might call kids with ADHD “undisciplined,” which could lead to harsh punishments.
Anxious students face academic stress, sometimes resulting in suicide (India has one of the highest youth suicide rates globally).
Untreated mental illness limits income and strains families. Stigma keeps families from seeking help until a crisis, such as self-harm or psychosis, occurs.
Multigenerational Trauma
Parents who never dealt with their trauma pass on harmful patterns to their kids.
India’s Mental Health Crisis: What People Say vs. What Happens
Depression: The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates 56 million people in India live with depression, but the real number may be twice as high because many cases go unreported.
Anxiety: WHO reports 38 million, while in reality, a lot of cases are written off as “stress.”
ADHD: Fewer than 1% of adults in India are formally diagnosed with ADHD, meaning the vast majority go undiagnosed and untreated.
Suicides: Over 160,000 deaths by suicide are reported annually (NCRB), with many linked to untreated mental illness.
In rural areas, neglect is common; however, most surveys focus on cities.
Other factors that contribute to what the real situation is, as compared to what is reported:
“Cultural denial”: Families hide mental illness to avoid being judged.
Misdiagnosis: Physical symptoms like headaches and tiredness can hide depression and anxiety.
What Can Be Done to Break the Silence?
- Make talking about mental health normal
– Schools and workplaces need to teach people about this through workshops and other interactive activities.
– When famous people and influencers speak out, it can help reduce stigma.
- Make it easier to get to Teletherapy and low-cost counselling (like Hope Trust).
– Programs run by the government, like the National Mental Health Program, need to grow.
- Systems of Family Support
– Teach parents how to spot the signs.
– Promote emotional openness instead of hiding it.
- Ways to Help Yourself
– Mindfulness, writing in a journal, and support groups with other people.
– Going to therapy even though people judge you for it.
Mental Health Issues are Not the End of The Road
Undiagnosed mental health issues severely harm self-esteem and relationships in India, but recognising the problem and seeking help can drive change.
If you or someone you know is having a hard time: Reach out today. Start a conversation with a friend or a trusted therapist. Taking this step can open the door to healing and support.
Remember, having a mental illness is not a sign of weakness; it’s a medical condition that can and should be addressed. Take the next step toward treatment and encourage others to do the same.
You Are the Inspiration!
When we speak up and take action, healing starts for us and those around us. Do not wait for things to get worse; your initiative could inspire others to take action.
You are not alone. Your pain is real. Help is available, so take the step to seek it or offer it to others. Together, we can change the story of mental health in India. Starting with you!
Click www.hopetrustindia.com for an online appointment with a counsellor.