The Post-Divorce Curve: Will You Ever Be Happy Again?

People tell you to “move on,” but you carry more than just your belongings. Memories, doubts, fears, and an uncertain future weigh heavily. That isn’t easy to carry.

Divorce can feel like a dead end, a place where you are alone and open to attack. But it can also be the start of something better. It’s important to remember this. Divorce begins a journey of change, including anger, realization, coping, and thriving. The feelings you’re experiencing are normal, and the changes in your social life and finances are significant. It might seem too big and out of your control, but it gets better. Time heals, and if it doesn’t, help is available.

Is Divorce Always Negative?

In places like India, where marriage is seen as sacred, divorce is seen as evil. But is it always bad? The numbers say something else. Finland, which ranked first on the World Happiness Index in 2023, also has a divorce rate of approximately 40 to 45 per cent. This is also true for Denmark and Norway. For India, where the divorce rate remains less than one per cent, the happiness index ranking is an impressive 126. It’s hard not to notice the trend, even if we don’t see it as a direct link.

The rise in divorce rates these days can be linked to a fast-paced life, high work-related stress, more financial stability, equal opportunities for men and women, and other factors. It’s not always wrong to decide to get a divorce. If you’re in a relationship that doesn’t add anything good to your life, it could be the best thing you’ve ever done.

Getting to Know the Different Sides of Divorce

But doing your best isn’t always easy. It can be very hard. What do you do then?

It’s essential to recognize that it’s okay not to have all the answers and to feel confused and overwhelmed. Divorce is a big change for couples who have been together for a few years or even decades. You need to give yourself time and space to adapt to the new mental and environmental factors. As a divorced person, you will have to make choices about a lot of things.

Stability in social and financial matters: Being married means more than just having someone to be with. When you share your life with someone, you also make them the centre of your social and financial life. You may struggle to regain the stability you had before your divorce. You might lose touch with some of your social circles. You may need to find an alternative way to earn money or manage your finances.

Coparenting: Divorce usually hurts kids the most. It can be hard to make decisions about parenting after a divorce when you have to think about your child’s happiness and health while also dealing with the changes yourself. It’s a big step to talk to your ex and make choices that are good for both of you, which will ultimately make you both feel better.

Sense of identity: While the chaos and uncertainty of a divorce set in, and you are engaged in managing things that matter, oftentimes, what you go through internally is given less attention than it deserves. The relationships you build have a big impact on how you see yourself. So, when a relationship ends, it can lead you down the dark path of self-pity and loss of identity. You must put your mental health first and get help if you need it.

What Does a Curve Look Like After a Divorce?

The time and effort required to deal with divorce vary among individuals. But there is a common post-divorce recovery curve that shows how a person’s feelings change after a divorce. This is similar to the five stages of grief that people go through when they lose someone they love.

Shock: This stage involves denial and an inability to accept the truth. You might feel really angry, hurt, or sorry for yourself, and you might feel like there’s nothing you can do.

Grief: The time of grief is a step towards getting better. You slowly accept the truth of the change and deal with your feelings while you are grieving. Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. You might cry, feel numb, stay away from people, or go out even more. What matters is if you are getting used to the change and learning to deal with your feelings.

Adjustment: As you go through the grieving process, you start to understand the difficulties of the change and learn how to adapt and adjust. This could mean adjusting your lifestyle, managing your finances more effectively, or spending quality time with family and friends.

Growth: As you go through these stages, you will enter a time of growth and success. You regain your energy and positive attitude, and use them to build new, stronger aspects of your life.

Getting Through the Emotional Side of Divorce

Divorce affects many parts of your life. It’s not just about losing someone or feeling alone. If you don’t take care of it, divorce grief can turn into problems like Prolonged Grief Disorder. You should reach out to people who genuinely care about you and are willing to help. The loneliness and helplessness are never as bad as they seem. Accept the growth that comes after change, and rebuild and refresh your life. Here are some ideas:

– Taking care of yourself: Be nice to yourself and take care of yourself. Give yourself time to get better. In the meantime, you can do things you love, like hobbies, or find new ones to do to lift your spirits.

– Support groups: There are a lot of support groups for people who want to be around other people and feel comfortable. The connections you make in a support group may go beyond the meeting and make your life more meaningful.

– Therapy: Therapy is no longer strange or hard to get to. If you think that your feelings and emotions are too much for you to handle, trained professionals can help you. You just have to get over your fear and reach out. Moreover, therapy is now available online, so you can reach out to a counsellor from the comfort of your home!

Healing is Possible!

Keep in mind that healing is not a straight line, but it is possible and likely with time and help. You are strong enough to get through it if you are strong enough to make the choice. Don’t hesitate to seek support from a professional at a reputable mental health service, such as Hope Trust.

Promise yourself that you will put yourself first, and everything else will fall into place over time and with the help you receive!

Click www.hopetrustindia.com for an online appointment with a therapist.