Top 10 Reasons for Divorce
Even though we’d like to think that our marriage is not among the percentage of marriages that end in divorce, life sometimes goes differently than planned.
These are the top 10 reasons why some marriages fail:
- Financial burdens
Talking about money with your spouse can sometimes be tense, especially if one partner has not been open about their financial situation.
When money problems haven’t been discussed openly, it is often a big reason why some marriages fail.
Everyone struggles with money problems like debt, student loans, spending, budgets, and bills; however, how a couple handles these problems is the test of their relationship. Sharing financial difficulties with a loved one is also tricky.
But one should only put off having a serious conversation with their spouse about financial issues once they threaten the union. If not resolved early in the relationship, loans or debts may lead to resentment, particularly if a married couple plans to purchase a home together.
It may be time to seek guidance from a counsellor or financial advisor if you want to talk with your spouse about money-related issues.
- Problems communicating with your spouse
A marriage without two-way communication is doomed to fail because only some people are good at communicating or sharing feelings. Every aspect of married life should be discussed by both partners, even if they are challenging.
When couples have trouble communicating before marriage, the problems often get worse. Nobody ever said marriage was simple, so it’s crucial to maintain open lines of communication to iron out any kinks.
It is acceptable to seek professional assistance from a marriage counsellor if emotions are suppressed. They can help couples have honest conversations that are hard for them to have on their own.
- Running a family
Children, in-laws, siblings, parents, and stepchildren can all cause marital issues. Most couples have conflict when discussing how to run a home and raise a family.
Every couple has different priorities regarding raising kids, which can strain their marriage. These family problems may result from financial difficulties or conflicting parenting philosophies. A spouse who favours equality may disagree with a spouse who upholds more traditional roles.
Even setting bedtime routines and daily chores for their kids can be difficult for some couples to agree on. If a couple can’t decide how to raise their children, they may feel incompatible and end up divorcing. One way to prevent problems in the future is to address various parenting philosophies early on or before having children.
Dealing with in-laws can also cause strife in a marriage. When contemplating marriage, discussing issues like dealing with extended family is essential.
- Lack of intimacy and sex
In a marriage, sexual activity is expected to complete the union. The absence of consensual consummation may result in issues with sexual quality and frequency, and infidelity. If not addressed right away, these common causes of marriage failure exist. A marriage needs to have a healthy sexual life.
Since everyone has different sexual tastes, it is important to find out early on what your partner’s love language is. This will influence how your sexual life develops. Couples should be willing to talk about their sexual preferences and try to find things they agree on when it comes to sex experiments.
However, if one partner refuses to engage in sex or uses it as a weapon, this may be a cause for divorce.
- Your friends don’t like your spouse
Not all of your friends will approve of the spouse you choose. And even though this matter may seem unimportant to some, introducing your partner to your friends in a positive light will help them get to know one another better.
A marriage may end because friends meddle too much in the affairs of the married couple. If friends try to help solve a fight between a husband and wife but don’t respect the couple’s boundaries, they may also hurt the marriage. That’s why a professional couple counsellor is recommended.
It’s also a good idea to pay attention to any sincere worries that your friends may have about your current partner; on occasion, friends can help you spot warning signs that you may have missed earlier because you were so in love.
- Addictions to alcohol, drugs, and gambling
Abuse of alcohol, drugs, or gambling can result in many problems and is a common reason for divorce. A spouse struggling with addiction may make maintaining a typical marriage impossible.
Addictions can cause big money problems that harm a couple’s marriage.
If one person tries to help their spouse with their addiction, but they do not want it, they can also make married couples fight constantly. Although there may not be any physical or verbal abuse, a spouse addicted to alcohol, drugs, or gambling can cause significant strain on the marriage.
Asking your spouse if they would be open to addiction treatment makes sense if you are considering divorcing due to these problems.
- A toxic spouse
Abuse by a toxic spouse is never tolerated in a marriage. Abuse of any kind—physical, verbal, or sexual—can cause marriages to fail.
A partner should never belittle, mistreat or ridicule a spouse. Just because they are married, a spouse should never continue to live with an abusive partner. Abuse of any kind—verbal, physical, or sexual—can be detrimental to both the marriage and the victim. Everyone’s situation is unique, but abuse victims should try to rekindle support systems with friends or family who can help them in these situations because abusers frequently try to isolate their partners from friends and family.
These situations are more challenging to leave when children are involved. To learn how to leave an abusive spouse, a partner should also try contacting local domestic violence support groups.
- It’s not me, it’s you
Different personality traits can make it hard for a married couple to get along and agree on different things. Couples may find it difficult to deal with issues related to sex, emotion, or intellect. Alternatively, they might find that they have nothing in common because of how different they are.
Others have trouble finding common ground, while some couples don’t mind being complete opposites. Being too different from each other can sometimes hurt a relationship, especially if it leads to a lot of fighting. A pessimistic partner can make a long-term relationship unbearable and may even cause a breakup.
Couples should take their time getting to know one another and finding out if their personalities suit each other before getting married. The marriage could succeed or fail based on their opposite natures. Each person has to decide if their partner’s personality goes well with their own or makes their flaws stand out more.
- Having high or unrealistic expectations
The expectations the couple has for one another and the marriage itself will determine how well they learn to adapt to married life. When romantic or irrational expectations aren’t met, disillusionment is frequently experienced. But it’s important to have reasonable expectations going into marriage.
Couples may be unhappy in their relationships if they don’t know what to expect from each other. Couples must discuss their expectations for their married life openly. Unmet expectations can cause dissatisfaction over time, making it difficult to reach meaningful agreements.
Setting clear expectations early on could help keep one partner from not meeting the needs of the other, and vice versa. If a couple’s expectations for their marriage are causing conflict, they should talk to a counsellor or therapist.
- Issues with time commitment
Some couples spend only a little time together or move too far apart. A healthy marriage requires time apart from one another and time spent together.
Couples who can figure out how to spend their time together in a balanced way may have excellent chances for growth and harmony.
When a couple’s work and home schedules are only sometimes compatible, it can cause ongoing conflict if not addressed immediately.
The best way to deal with daily routines or work schedules that affect how much time a couple spends together is to talk to their spouse about the quality time they’d like to spend together.
Married people can also do things together to get to know each other better and spend time together.
Family counsellors at Hope Trust have observed these causes numerous times and encourage couples to seek professional support as soon as they occur. Click www.hopetrustindia.com to schedule an online session with a therapist.