Why Do Some People Talk Too Much?
And how to manage them
It is OK to be chatty, but sometimes people talk too much. This can be incredibly irritating if the person doing the talking is not interested in listening.
It’s essential to recognise that a lack of listening causes excessive talking. We don’t want to shut down the free spirit; we want to balance things. If we’re not being heard or the other person doesn’t realise we’re frustrated, we should reconsider whether the conversation is worth the trouble.
There are several reasons why someone might talk excessively. It might be due to nerves, excitement, a desire to connect with others, or simply because he is the only person familiar with a subject at a social gathering.
How to manage a conversation in a gathering
Sometimes, someone takes over the conversation and prevents others from speaking. This can be tolerable occasionally, but if it is done consistently, the gatherings will become unpleasant.
The best way to encourage a balanced dialogue is to rearrange participants, focus on topics rather than personal anecdotes, and maintain equal status. In addition, avoiding inappropriate reinforcement can prevent someone from unintentionally encouraging over-talking behaviour.
Why do some people talk too much?
Some are naturally chatty, constantly self-absorbed, or oblivious to the fact that they talk more than they listen. However, there are other reasons for this phenomenon that can be managed. Once we have heard for a while, we might be able to identify the reason someone is talking too much, and we might be able to correct it.
Here are seven ways to enhance the quality of a conversation:
- Changing the social environment
Large groups usually don’t permit some individuals to participate—at least not for very long. Group structure can have a significant impact on participation. Breaking up bigger groups into smaller ones of two, three, and four persons are better for achieving equal participation. We may reposition ourselves and begin our discussion with a smaller group, preferably facing people rather than sitting next to each other.
It’s important not to have a leader if the group remains large. Social gatherings are not meetings or classes; we can politely leave the larger group and take a break if necessary.
- Keeping the same theme
Most of us have theme detectors when we converse. We recognise and react to themes—sometimes with a thematically relevant event or personal anecdote.
Our personal experiences might be the theme, although these are usually brief and responsive to the group’s interests. For example, if someone says, “I just returned from London,” a natural reaction would be to ask about their trip. People who over-talk might seize the opportunity to describe their London journeys in great detail.An over-talker often uses the briefest information as a springboard for an abundance of self-oriented details.You should wait and return to the person who mentioned their trip to London first.
- Changing one’s standing
People may speak excessively out of the belief that they have higher status than others in the group, thanks to their more excellent expertise or unique experiences in general. When people talk about themselves, they are experts. For that reason, over-talkers focus on their activities, thereby maintaining their expertise. Changing subjects or emphasising our lives’ eventfulness can disrupt this dynamic by appropriately shifting topics.
- Reducing redundancy
Linguists distinguish between deep structure, the idea to be expressed, and surface structure, the actual words expressing those ideas. A person whose surface structure is rich but whose deep structure is shallow may be excessively repetitious, making them more talkative.
Finding the right amount of information is a challenge when talking. Wordy people consistently are not attentive to their audiences’ needs, providing too much information. In contrast, those who offer too little are not understood.
We can stimulate the connection by enthusiastically supporting what we already understand and contribute to the discussion using our knowledge.
- Changing the pattern
We tend to reinforce people’s talkativeness, enabling them to monopolise conversations. Nodding in agreement or shaking our heads in disagreement may make the speaker feel more comfortable. Impatient sighs, looking at our phone, and looking away may encourage even more talking. Interrupting can be handled similarly, which may increase the tension and make conversation a competitive process.
We may temporarily keep silent by lowering our output and keeping a neutral expression.When the chatty person behaves reasonably and concisely, we should pay attention to the desired behaviour and provide reinforcement.
- Being straightforward
We can be direct if we are up for it. We describe how over-talking hurts us by restricting the other person’s excessive chatter rather than criticising it. We may request, ‘May we have equal time?’
Then, we may add something of our own. They may interrupt us, but then we may diplomatically express our desire to finish what we were saying.
- Welcoming expression
There are legitimate and sensible causes for being talkative. People who spend their days in front of a screen or with young children will yearn for adult listeners.
It’s important to let the person decompress and adjust to the adult social environment in this case. After listening for a while, we may want to comment sympathetically about the stresses of their day and then introduce new topics gracefully.
Finally, we would like to say a few words.
It’s important to remember that talking too much is an imbalance between talking and listening. We don’t want to shut down the chatty individual; we want to rebalance the scales. Suppose the person doesn’t read our irritation or acknowledge it. We should ask ourselves whether the exchange is worth the continual irritation.
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