How Couples Can Rebuild Trust in Their Relationship

Trust starts with feeling safe with the other person in a close relationship. When a partner cheats, lies, or breaks a word, it hurts the trust between them a lot. That doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t be saved.

It can be hard to rebuild trust, but it is possible if both partners are committed to the process.

Pick up the pieces

It takes a lot of time and work to regain the feeling of safety necessary for a relationship to grow and thrive. Many couples who want to get back on track get stuck when they can’t overcome the pain of a broken trust.

Whether you were the one who broke trust or the one who was broken, you both need to make a new promise to your relationship and each other.

Know the facts

Even when cheating seems clear-cut, there are always two sides to the story. The partner who did something wrong should be open and honest about what happened and give direct answers to any questions from their partner.

This will help the person who was cheated understand the situation better. When and where did it happen? What kinds of feelings or problems might have led to this? What were the good things that happened?

Release your anger

Even small betrayals of trust can cause problems with your mental, social, and physical health. Partners may find it hard to sleep or lose appetite. They might get angry over small things.

Even though it may be tempting to push all of the anger and other feelings down, partners who have been betrayed need to pay attention and think about all their feelings. Think about how your partner’s lie affects you and other people.

Think about how your life has changed and all the new questions and worries that have come up.

Tell your partner how you feel about all of these things.

Even the partner who did something wrong is urged to say anything they’ve been feeling since before the incident.

Show commitment

Both people, especially those who were lied to, may wonder if the relationship is still right for them or if it can be saved.

Acts of empathy, like sharing pain, frustration, and anger, showing sorrow and regret, and making space for hurt feelings to be acknowledged and validated, can be healing for both people.

Taking this a step further, laying out what each person wants from the relationship can help them understand that moving forward comes with clear boundaries that each person has agreed to meet.

Both partners must work to figure out what it takes to stay committed to making it work.

When you tell your partner this, don’t use words that can cause disagreement, like “always,” “never,” “must,” or “should.” Instead, use words like “I see,” “I expect,” or “I want.” For example, “I need to feel like I’m a priority in your life” is better than “You never put me first.”

Bringing back trust

You must set clear goals and reasonable time frames to get your relationship back on track. Recognise that restoring trust involves patience and the following:

• Decide to forgive or to be forgiven. Let go of the past and make a mindful choice to love. Reaching this goal may take some time, but it’s important to keep working towards it.
• Be willing to grow and get better. Broken trust can’t be fixed with just promises and statements of forgiveness. Both partners need to figure out what led to the betrayal, look into it, and work on it for the problems to go away.
• Be aware of how you feel and say what you think. Leaving one side to stress over the event or action that broke the trust won’t help. Instead, talking about the facts and releasing anger and pain is important.
• Put in the work. Lip service or more lies have no place in the process. Be honest and true to what you want.
• Once you’ve considered the points above, talk freely about your goals and check in often to ensure you’re on the right track.

For the offender

It might be hard or hurtful to think about what you did wrong as the person who hurt the relationship. Remember that the steps above are important for fixing and getting better. While you work on them:

• Accept that you are the one in your relationship who lied, stole, or broke trust. Change the way you act to show that you have stopped doing wrong. That means there will be no more secrets, lies, cheating. From now on, be open, honest, and honest.
• Be honest, try to figure out why the harmful action happened, and say so. “I don’t know” doesn’t make you feel better or help you resolve the problem.
• Take responsibility for your actions and choices, apologise for the pain you’ve caused, and don’t get angry, which will only worsen the situation. Justifying your actions by what your partner is doing or what they have done in the past is also not helpful.

For the betrayed

Getting ahead depends a lot on what your partner can show you, but don’t forget that your work also has a lot to do with how successful you might be. As you go along, day after day:

• Work on determining what went wrong in the relationship before the betrayal happened and why. This won’t make you forget what happened, but it might help you find the necessary answers to move on.
• Once you’ve decided to give your partner a second chance, give them consistent feedback on things that please or make you happy by giving them positive answers and reinforcement.
• Know that it’s okay if you decide not to continue the connection after thinking about or taking the steps above. Just be honest with yourself and your partner, and don’t just go through the motions because you think that’s what a loyal partner should do.

For the couple

Remember to give each other your full attention when working independently. Remind each other that you deserve open and honest answers to your questions about the betrayal.

Rebuilding your relationship

Once a couple has decided to work on rebuilding trust, they need to treat their relationship as if it were brand new. Both sides must say what they want and need instead of assuming their partner already knows.

Don’t be afraid to trust this new person, even if it’s the same person.

If you don’t trust your partner out of fear or anger, you won’t be able to feel close to them again. This makes it hard for your relationship to grow healthily.

Instead, try to rebuild the relationship by putting in the work needed to build trust and a bond that helps both of you. Talk about what you both think a good relationship looks like.

Some examples are setting up date nights, making a five-year, ten-year, or even twenty-year plan together, learning each other’s love languages, and talking to your partner about how the relationship is going or meeting your goals.

Don’t forget that every relationship takes work. Even the most close-knit couples have to work hard year after year to keep the spark alive and grow similarly.

Get help from a couples therapist

You can work on making your relationship better, happier, and more honest if you deal with the five things above and remember the big picture.You can only get through this if you stay strong and commit to working on it together.

A couples therapist can help you figure out what happened, why it happened, and how it happened so you can move on.

Both sides should be willing to talk to a third party to determine why the trust was broken. But you may want or need to see a therapist alone and with your partner.

Several types of therapy for couples are meant to help them rebuild trust, dialogue, and closeness, which can be very helpful.

After going through such a crisis, you may even end up with a stronger relationship if you talk to a counsellor and keep working on it.

Click www.hopetrustindia.com for an online or in-person appointment with a professional.