Sex and Alcoholism

Throughout history, romance, sex and alcohol are closely linked. Many a romantic encounter happen over wine. And alcohol becomes a reason to seek solace in heartbreak.

James Bond responded tongue-in-cheek to “How do you do?” with “A drink before and a cigarette after”. Alcohol does loosen inhibitions and often leads to sexual intercourse.

This may be true for normal people who consume alcohol in moderation. But for alcoholics, it is an entirely different situation.

Alcohol and sexual dysfunction

While alcohol stimulates desire, long term alcohol intake adversely impacts the central nervous system. As William Shakespeare wrote: “It provokes desire but it takes away the performance”. An alcoholic may experience problems such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. Moreover, his or her partner may get put off by the smell of alcohol on his breath and may not fully or emotionally participate in the act.

This leads to other issues with the alcoholic. He may blame his partner for not cooperating, or worse, get suspicious about fidelity. So apart from the physical and sexual dysfunction, there are psychological consequences too. In most cases, it triggers low self-worth and fears.

Sex and addiction recovery

Most therapists skim the surface when it comes to looking into the sexual aspects of addiction. The clients also are hesitant to go down that road. However, sex is a significant part of recovery and should be addressed.

The client should be encouraged to share about the sexual issues during active addiction and in recovery. This way, his or her negative emotions associated with the sexual dysfunction are alleviated.

The addiction therapist should also explain the medical consequences of long-term addiction and the expectations in addiction recovery. This way, any unrealistic expectations are avoided.

A stint in a rehab can enhance libido – the client is all charged up. This is due to the healing in body accompanied with heightened desires and long-term lack of physical intimacy.

However, addiction therapists and 12 Step programs recommend that the recovering person should avoid relationships for the first two years. One reason, of course, is the emotional vulnerability in early recovery. The second reason is that the body takes a while to fully recover and able to sexually function without problems such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation – such issues can cause shame, anger, resentment or other similar feelings which may trigger a relapse.

Another issue that is often seen in addiction recovery is that the alcoholic gets obsessed with sex, just like he or she was obsessed about the substance. Addiction recovery is all about balance and moderation.

The goal of addiction recovery is healing – of the body, mind and soul. Sex is an important part of recovery. A good rehab will address this aspect and minimize the chances of relapse in ongoing recovery.